It been a couple of weeks since I last wrote, and felt inspired then to continue to write, however it has been a bit bumpy still.
So many subjects I would like to write about.
So much to say, things are so shifty that it makes it hard to really focus.
So for now I am working on my poetry, hoping to get some client work done, and maybe get outdoors today.
I wonder how everyone out there is handling the world, and how they feel about themselves, in all the chaos.
I personally have had to tune out all this “horrifying of the masses,” slow down and go back to my heart and listen.
Every day I wake up to what seems like a hard world and listening to what is essential for me each day is all I got. now is not the time to push, tax your adrenals, instead it is a time to relax, enjoy what you can.
The funny thing is that I have been hearing and feeling this pre pandemic, and then I just kept hearing “do what you feel that you can do, not anymore, and not any less.” I felt lazy, like I wasn’t accomplishing anything.
Then the universe decided to really be funny, in the last six months I have been challenged beyond my own belief.
My focal was keeping calm in the eye of the storm.
It has been a practice.
I think the long lasting message of slow, down, do what you can, don’t tax your adrenals has been the key to not losing it completely.
Patience, calming the waters within, and following my heart, it is now myself care guidelines.
Which requires practicing, self care first, which is a whole list of daily items; juice, cacao, late breakfast, then out for a walk in the warmer times. I wash my face night and day. Eat right, not in abundance, and not too strict.
Finally calling in what I would like to bring forth into my world
In the moments of pain and sickness, or sadness I always asked . “if my life is so blessed to breath air, why do I not feel joy” I kept asking the universe, god, creator, gia ma, to please show me how to find the joy in this life.
I spent many of days yelling, “Why does this life have to be so hard!!!”
I had a Broken tail bone, then the isolation of Covid, to top it all off I got my heart torn from my chest.
Oh this was practice in the depths of it all in finding the joy and keeping myself care top priority.
What could the universe do, to assist me in finding joy, but give me every situation that scared the “Shit” right out of me, untill I started laughing?
Laughing at the big jokester in the house.
Sitting with it all, I had to learn the lessons.
Lessons in taking care of my back and self, by finding the best avenue for healing my back.
Then I had the opportunity to ride the covid wave, quietly and compassionately.
My back was a wake up call to myself and who I could trust to assist me, and an awareness around those who could not handle my pain.
I will say getting covid the catalyst in the huge transition into joy…..
The time prior to my initiation with covid, I was depressed, felt pinned down, pre covid I would say I was getting suicidal.
Depression is a wild game; my dog and the thought that” I don’t want to do this life again,” is what kept me on this planet.
Pulling out of depression takes practice, and it also offers the most deepest times of healing.
The week prior to covid I was bouncing around in my thoughts about my worth in the world, why was I not out living it. Where was my purpose, this went on all during covid. I also experience out of body things that is for another story time. However; after covid I felt for the first time that I wanted to live.
Go out and do things I loved again. Like smell food, taste it and the ability to paddleboard, camp, hike, run a little and also be in the joy of the little things. This was my covid lesson and push into the next journey.
The next 6 months post covid, I felt like hell struck, navigating a chaos shit storm of heart break, moving 5 times, and landing in the greatest of places.
All of it had its purpose, to shake me out of my old skin. A shedding of all things that did not serve me, ending the relationship with myself and another, readying my soft underbelly for the next landing.
So for today I am going to keep listening to my heart and do what inspires me.
Today my inspiration is poem about the healing house that I have found a clam peace.
It is a great reflection of how we just need to come home to heart to find healing.
Nala In the Mother Ship
The Healing House
Where the people come to live, seek out the path of hope and healing.
For the healing house does not offer a medicine you cannot handle and your greeted with compassion at the front door.
They occupants are forever the ones who seek out truth and light even through all the grief and worldly troubles.
Those who choose to walk through the doors find hope and laughter, a part of the chores.
They Dance and sing, the songs of old and new.
The mother is tender and a most wonderful soul, who holds a caresses your heart,in the most gentle of ways.
Pops is holder of safety making sure you feel welcome and secure.
The midwife is there to allow you to give birth, to all you are.
There is also an Auntie, a sister a healer of all sorts, she is a master of truth, the quickness of a cat, the mystery of fun, with a fantastical view.
The brothers stop in to help you unload, and there is a place for them to behold.
The medicine they serve has a sweat quality of taste, no bitterness allowed, in this solid place.
This healing house is not just a place, but a residence within your heart.
The beating and pulsing of something new, this house is the place where wellness has a whole new view.
Become the whole of whole you already are, and hold your head up high, you are supported each day, with the healing house is inside of you.
I look forward to your input.
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