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I Witnessed You

I Witnessed You

How does it feel to know you are being watched?

As most people; I want to be seen for who I am and what I am valued for. We intensify these feelings through our interactions, how we engage in conversations, posting on Facebook to create a conversation around what we are doing and adding to the world. This knowing of how we add value in the conversation, is how we begin to view ourselves, and we see others on where they are in the world we create.

Wanting our voice to be heard and the opinions we express, is how we identify in life, and with life.

Over that last couple of months, I have taken a break from blogging, for several reasons. The biggest reason was that I was diving deep inward.   I have struggled with love in so many ways, most of all for self.  The program guide I was given, had me on a journey that I was so lost in negative misguided feelings about what love really is. I began to put up boundaries, and saw where I had huge walls. I had to get down on the ground to find my place in this world, the place in my head and most of all my heart.  I began to put boundaries around my vulnerabilities, I also had to become vulnerable. Conflicting statement, I know. There were places that I played the fool about love, and other places that I had walls up so high around it that it was impossible to get over, most of all for myself.

People were triggered by this, and tried to find ways to get around my fences, and didn’t understand that I was breaking down my walls, and keeping clear boundaries. It was conflicting and freeing, all at the same time I became aware of so many things about self, I also began to see the people around me.

I realized I was watching something amazing unfold.

I began witnessing people and where they were at, exploring what it looked like, and how they interpreted my actions. Thus I was being witnessed.

I watched as people interacted with me, I seen their expressions the common statements made and the overall feeling. There were some aggressive behaviors and overall complete shut off to any connection. This confused me; I just sat back with no reaction, just my mental note pad, taking in all the feelings, and visceral reactions.  If it felt easy or awkward, I just sent love to it, knowing there was important information, for all involved.

I had to stay out of judgment and shame, because then my ego would be the witness and it was convoluted with self beliefs already. This is where I was able to see that I was not only being witnessed, I was witnessing myself.

The more I stood as witness, the more I was able to see where people were really at in their own journey. I began to understand that we all have those places that elicit areas where we really want to be seen.

OH it just got better and better from there. I dove in deep to the meaning of past relationships, how I was affected by them and how I witnessed them. I looked at the judgments, the overall comparisons, and where I stepped into ego.

That became a really fun ride for a bit, the Ego, it wants to be witnessed.  Ego has this big ole sign on its chest that says “SEE ME!”

I  saw where I wanted to be seen, where I needed to be authenticated by others. That ride kept breaking down, it did its best to keep me lifted, yet the crash eminent, and humility crept in.

I pulled myself up off the ground many times, dusted off and kept on going. All this became a great work of learning about my boundaries and walls, where I get to build proper boundaries, and take down those dratted walls.

I became a witness of compassion, for others and myself.

I am now learning from a whole new perspective about who I can be, where I love myself and what it does for my ego.

According to Carl Jung, the ego represents the conscious mind as it comprises the thoughts, memories, and emotions a person is aware of. The ego is largely responsible for feelings of identity and continuity.

I believe that the identity becomes obsessed with the need to be seen. We use social media to enhance our ability to be seen. We look for authentification, as fuel for expanding the ego. It is like a simple sugar in the body system, its quick fuel, but burns out quickly, so we are always trying to recharge with more identity sugar.

When we are witnessed by others; it is food for the identity, we become elevated via anger or feelings of joy, yet it never seems to be ENOUGH.

When we become witnesses we get to see life from perspective of compassion. Allowing others to be seen is an empathetic way of looking at someone deeply setting up them to be free.  No judgment, or shame.

When you learn to look at how you witness others, your ego gets to take a back seat for a minute. It does not get to react, it does not get to interject, it just gets to sit and watch. Kind of like a movie, as the people who are in your life get to be fully who they are without having interjections, you are watching them for where they are.

You get to witness you, empathetically, seeing what interpretations you take away, was there judgments or shame?  Learning about where you do this in your own world of self, becomes a tool to learn from.

I am now learning about healthy boundaries and taking down my walls; being vulnerable with out the fool. It’s a work in progress, yet it’s all a great dance, in the mystery in our heads.

I will end this with a great story in witnessing, and being witnessed.

I had been participating and witnessing music from all angles, like echoes off of walls, to drum circles or the way people were deep into the sounds they were making.

One really fun and intense night of witnessing, I got to see where a version of me became aware fully of self.  I watched others form characters, in a musical that I got to participate as a character in my own designed; this creation transformed a belief inside.

The intense night started at a didgeridoo introduction, and was invited to an after party at a small trailer. I walked into a vortex of fun musical whimsy, where the wine was the only thing close to mind altering, but I went through the looking glass with Alice. The most amazing characters showed up, with musical talents beyond my dreams. With those talents were as many instruments all ready and called to be played. The group settled in and began to pick up them up, thus began the magical sounds reverberating off the small trailers walls.

I did my best to keep up, moved to try and make music; I felt that I could not match the musical abilities of everyone in the room. So I just stopped, all I could hear was them and put down my instrument.  I picked up a drum,  here and there, I had some insecurity, and felt compelled instead, to just sit back and watch.

Each person became characters distinct of wonderland form. It was intriguing and joyful. I began to laugh out loud, not a normal laugh, a moving laugh to the beat of the drums the guitar, and rattles. It became a symphony with all the instruments and vocals in the group. It was loud and boisterous, I felt free, free to be seen and witnessed. It started with the process of seeing others and where they showed up, with their abilities. Allowing me to become in the flow with others, engaged in being witnessed allowing me to show up, without judgment or self shame.

I remembered my ability to laugh,  which added an interesting combination to the group. We were all in the presents of each other as we mastered ourselves.  Non-ego, enjoyment! This was the second time; in this time of witnessing and being witnessed, that I felt a deep sense of joy. However this particular lesson became ingrained in my DNA. I then began to feel my heart space growing with love, a love that comes from seeing people and where they are at, and acceptance of where I was at. I was seeing the love of myself.

Oh did that night end with the best bang! The songs that began to come from my vocals was amazing, it became banter with another person, as we sang together; at and around each other like a dance. Each enunciating with each other like  drums and heart beats; thump and bump, back and forth, raising the energy in the room into this swirling motion of sound. As we began to wind down the vocals, you could feel the energy dropping into a humming of calm. Oh how I slept that night.

By being present in that moment of watching the energy in each person, witnessing them and me, how I reacted and felt how they reacted and felt. I became this witness to joyful life, as it is in creation. This amazing connection, soul pieces of me, along with the souls of others, making music with each other, allowed for joy to flow. There was no judgment, just an amazing gratitude for the sounds that had just happened.

Witnessing people is a movie worth trying out, looking at others is a reflection of those things that we perceive and how we incorporate that into our world. We usually hang in groups of people that feel easy to participate in, we can interact as they know us.

What if you looked at you from outside of you?

I am so honored that I get to continue this experience of life movie, I will be honored to witness you in all your glory, with all your intricacies, compassionately believing you can also find the love inside.



Passionate Places

Passionate Places

Like many of you life has been filled with trials and tribulations, and until the day I die it will continue. The choice in this matter is all in how we interpret it and find the passion within our lives. I have been on a great journey all my life dealing with the many ups and downs she has handed me. I feel so honored to be able to continue on this journey and be in the presents of  so many who are also part of a movement to heal themselves.

I have met some many passionate people , in my tour of life and a common thread from everyone I encounter is that they see how the earth is being destroyed and are confused about how to shift it. The earth and her resources are being turned into a commodity so that humans can have something palatable to hold on to.  Yet as I have found out in the experiment in life that things have not made me happy and the search for the ultimate mate has only taken me deeper into sadness. As I continue on the journey of life I find that I am in search of the feeling of joy and I find that I get very sad quickly and feel pain in the when I see things, people and animals being destroyed or hurt.

I asked myself “what can I do, to assist this planet into a better space?” and how can I find joy, when all I see is the destruction.

The answer came in a form of a question”what is my Passion?”

Pretty interesting question, I feel passionate, yet what is it I am passionate about. It took me some time and a sweet journey that took me and a few friends into the desert of Utah, where we were able to see just a small piece of the amazing past,and the shifting times of the planet.  We explored places that showed how amazing life has changed and yet it seems so still, when you are in the vastness of a thousands of year old dessert crevasses, eroded over time by winds and water.

We sang into the abyss of cliffs and it resonated a mirror of what we sounded like. I enjoyed listening to the echo of music played by friends, such an amazing sound and vibration.  It was like child’s play at an adult level, with the most profound feeling of Joy and Bliss.

Then I began to realize; the one thing that initiates joy in me is the presents of mother earth. How glorious she stands before me, with all her gifts.  The wonders, and sights that make you really think about our existence. The earths ability to fold and turn land into such grand structures. The history and knowledge that humans have gained from transformations, and the formations, has allowed us to grow and build our homes and structures to withstand time. We have learned so much from her, on how to survive.

It is an architecture of patterns that winds and waters carved out, eroding the earth, where ancient humans made homes in places to this day still amaze me.

There are so many experiences in my life that has connect me to the feeling of joy each had something to do with the wonder of the earth. I have stood under great waterfalls in Peru, walked into the dessert into a great oasis of clear dark waters, witnessed fish foraging for food on a great reef. I realize that is all about the abundance of witnessing what the earth is, and has to offer.

The great joy of  the experience hast inspired me to share with you the joy I was able to connect with deeply. It was all provided by the earth. A playground of sounds and sights that enhanced my mood and elevate my spirit.  I realized I was passionate about living on the earth and wanted to protect these lands.

The earth, her mountains, her seas, animals and tree’s all are engaged in living its life persevering .  Yet as humans we are looking at fracking for gas, flattening rain forests for her trees, polluting the oceans with the what we need to throw away, tearing apart the most amazing places on the planet.

If there are no places for humans to visit and see their ancestry, hear their echo, climb a mountain, walk in desert or swim in the ocean, how can we connect or find that place of joy.

I found my passion, in the desert, in the mountains and in the vastness of the planet. I want to become more engaged in her presents and assist in educating people on how we can enjoy the earth with less of a foot print. I went home with a sense that I could make a difference, working toward a my passion the health of Gaia and the life upon her.

From the animals, to plants and humans, we all need a space to be in her wonder.  The one thing that has remained the same is the stamina of the earth and her ability to provide so far. She is strong and will hold a rock upon a spire, through winds, rains and earthquakes, only when that rock is ready to fall will it come down.  Yet still the rock will be a rock the spire will be a spire and life will go on creating. My hope is that she will be able to sustain the existence of humans and there perpetuated need to self gratify through her sources, vs, find the joy through her sights and sounds.

How can we continue to maintain such wonder, when the human race is taking  unconsciously, continuing to super size everything they have, yet there seems to be more disconnect to where it is provided from.   We build to live in these large homes where we stay inside, and continue to dig out the outside.This to me is such a wild metaphor, yet so apropos’.

I am grateful that I could experience the vastness, the history and the beautiful echos in the desert and I hope to make a difference in keeping it that way. I also hope that everyone can find the joy I found in the desert, the mountains or the ocean. Keeping it beautiful for all the children, animals and plants who will inherit it after I am gone.

To be a good steward to the planet you have to be a good steward to yourself.

Are you really happy and find joy in your choices, or are they just a topical treatment for fulfilling a desire that you are in no connection with. Can you find the time for you and connection with the earth everyday? Do you see where you take to much and enjoy to little?

Joy is just under the surface of everyday living. I hope you take some time and spend it in the presents of the earth and her wonder.

My wish is for all to find the joy and their passion, with regard to how and where it comes from.

Saying nothing, No more! #metoo

Saying nothing, No more! #metoo

I was raped.

I was just 14, a little lost girl in a non grounded world.  I began hanging out with a new friend, who took me to a party in the hardest part of town. There I choose to drink and was handed pills, which I swallowed, what did I know. The next thing I knew I was in a Bronco type vehicle in the front seat, being man handled and raped. One man was holding me down, while the other was having his way with me, they took turns. As I began to come around more, I saw my friend was also dealing with being attacked. At one point I began to throw up, they slapped me, finished up then tossed me and my friend out with a threat never to tell or they would do it again.  I remember smelling like the alcohol puke, felt disoriented, and terrified.  Who was in control, who was not, who was at fault and who was not?  I took the blame, because I was in no shape to say no.

Was that right or wrong?

We made our way back to my friend’s house, where she asked me to swear not to say anything. I was shocked; I was upset because I was blaming myself, yet was something I did not know if it was right to stifle. The humiliation was awful, yet the thought of not having anyone to talk to about was overwhelming. My friend’s life and mine were at risk also if we talked, yet I could not hold it in. I chose to tell a person in our Church Ward, where she said she would not tell my mom, or call the police.  I was so confused and had no guidance on what was right, was it my fault.

A year or so past, I had become very out of control for my parents, running away from home super skinny, i.e anorexic. They went to the courts to have me put away so they could get me under control.  In the court room my mom began to tell the story of my rape to the judge, and whole room heard it.  I was angry, terrified and wildly upset. She had known about the rape since it happened, and never talked to me about it, but was able to tell everyone in that room. It never talked about it to me, yet easily to others and to be used against me to get me committed somewhere. How?  I shut down even further and continued on a self destructive path.  I continued for years to feeling defeated and unable to get in touch with my anger towards my mother, the women in church, my friend, and the rapists.  Where was the counseling, where was the intention?

Many years later, after lots of striving to be better, my older brother and I were having our bonding chats, and somehow the subject of rape came up. I told him about the rape I experienced, he was very upset, he apologized, I told him it wasn’t his fault and was very passive about it. I explained that I did not let it control my life. He was shocked I about it, and wanted to help me work through it, I tossed it aside again, changed the subject to another conversation.

A couple of years have passed and I thought “The Rape” held no ground for me, until this last summer. I went to a women’s healing retreat where I was working on myself, digging deeply into my soul, where I found how much the rape impacted my world. My worth had been taken to its depths, because of the reactions and how it was handled,  from my friend, the church member, my mother, the courts, and yes the rapist, I felt no worth in the world, probably because the abuse was not important, and if anything is said its to hurtful, awful, dark, and even at some points to personal.

The rape was oppressed, pushed down, because it was not important enough of an issue.

Oppression, of sexual misconduct was and is how we have dealt with the problem of rape. Don’t say anything, it is dirty,  it’s hard, it hurts. Why, because my mother was raped, her mother was raped. It’s been going on for so many years and if we said anything, we were the bad guys, or the ones who provoked it.

The days of those things happening are becoming part of the past, the Harvey Weinstein’s are showing up everywhere. Women and men are starting to speak up, speak loudly about the innocence taken from them, the jab of the dominance into and onto their personal parts.

This conversation about rape is real, it is big and it is time for change in that reality.

I have had this deep level of connection, all my life to the earth, the recognition of the rape helped me understand why it feels so important now to stop the sexual misconducts and raping of our souls, the pillaging of our worth.  While I was in the women’s retreat, I gained the knowledge that I needed to be a better steward to myself and the planet. I now see myself and my worth, and how I can’t do that without the support of the earth. I also am facing those areas that attack my worth, sometimes come from my own gluttony from wants, areas of lack and fill it with something that gets thrown away later. Those thoughts take me to a place to look deeper at the planet and how the world just takes and we just keep quiet, just like the Rape.

I am not quiet anymore and the hashtag #metoo, is the catalyst for me to write this blog, bringing awareness in how we treat ourselves and how we externally look for joy, and find it in the places that keep the earth supplying us. Yet it is not enough, we all become a rapist, a steady stream of take take take, without acknowledging the value and discarding its worth.

The past six months have been a healing on all levels, learning to be a better person to myself.  It really resonated with me, that it is time we see the planets worth, value and stop raping her, just like the rapist and sexual predators do to the human’s souls. We are predators raping our home of all her commodities, without even thinking of how it will replenish and heal.  Taking; where we see fit, and our foot step is getting bigger and bigger. Then we just ignore it, oppress it and act like it’s not happening, just like any rape. We don’t see that she is getting tired, her breast milk is drying up and being poisoned, and her mountains carved and sucked dry. All for diamond rings, pesticides, and the best tasting beef. Who is in control who is not, who is at fault and who is not?  Who is to blame when the earth says NO! What is right or wrong?

The earth’s rape is still happening, yet perception is that is she will supply because we can take, and continue to demand that she give. When water protectors stand up, fight for her, they are deemed hippies, or radical conservationist.  They are tired, and I am tired of seeing the earth muddled, and horrifically torn apart by human consumption and seeing trash keep pilling up.

The gluttony is the same as the sexual predator trying to fulfill a need, preying on the innocent. Stealing more than is offered and I throw it away when it brings no more gratification. We have learned to use people and the earth in the same way.  Instant gratification; now I want to be happy, we just take without any intentional thought about how it impacts the soul, the earth.

The big picture is our identity is wrapped up in how we can look better to feel better.  The concern for me is that we think we have the right to obtain all the earth has. It is the equivalent to the sexual harassment, and the raping of a human soul, the right to take, without asking.  We are taught to lust after something, like a green lawn, a diamond necklace, or the biggest vehicle to haul all the oil consuming products, or sexual fulfillment, is all about the ultimate gratification. It all plays into how we feel about ourselves and it all plays into how we manipulate to get what makes us feel joy.  Do you see the dwindle of the Bee’s due to pesticides, do you know the tragedy of owning a diamond, or how much land gets destroyed because of human consumption of oil, what about the worth of a women, man child who is raped? Do you know?

Are you a rapist, how much do you dare to hashtag #imarapisttoo.

I ask you to look deeply into your soul about how it feels to have your daughter, mother, sister, brother, uncle, cousin raped. Then look deeply at how you rape the earth.  We cannot expect people to take accountability for their sexual misconduct, until we look at our own misconduct. Then we can shift reality, that what is there, isn’t always for the taking. Using what we need to supply simpler lifestyles, vs. having so much that we are constantly throwing away.

Reality is that we have grown too big, with very little thought of how much we affect the worth of the earth and her ability to support us. How can we start to give back, how can we stop the gluttony?

As the rape that happened when I was 14; was stifled and ignored; The earth has been giving for 100’s of years, without thoughtful value, taking its worth. I will not nor would not ignore the rapes of others, would you?

I can’t say that this will fix the sexual problems of humans, I believe though it is a look at our own ideology of taking without knowledge of where, how and why, it is needed. Changing those thoughts intentionally we can start to create an attitude about being more understanding, intentional, about how we live; which will initiate healthier homes and attitudes now.


Let’s  talk about it, let us create change, by showing  the world that rape will not be tolerated or acceptable to humans, or any earthly creature or body.

Now I ask will you help stand with me and say “No more will I ignore, the sexual misconduct on the earth.”

From deep within my soul.


Self Reconciliation

Self Reconciliation

While on the road I got the opportunity to meet with a band ‘The Holland’s” and the beautiful singer Jana. On this trip, I have had the opportunity to talk to a diverse amount of  people, I felt compelled to keep this story about the Holland’s, till last because of the concept of reconciliation with self, each other and the world.

So what is reconciliation; what is the meaning behind it, what is the purpose for self.

Regarding someone you disagree with or it is  a situation from former disagreements or enemies; where reconciliation is agree to an amicable truce, a restoration of friendly relations. Finally you can make the action of making one view or belief compatible with another. All is about working together with others. Reconciliation is a term that brings two sides together as an equal understanding.

What if it means you bring one side of self to understand the other side of self?

Knowing the term, yet using it in your world is a great journey.

Jana shared her journey of reconciliation with me and found that the word means more than just coming together. Her story began with growing up in a home with strong religious beliefs, that built a foundation of source energy, god or as she calls it ABBA. She also became the victim of sexual abuse, a not so uncommon tail in today’s world with many women and men I come across. It impacted her to the point where it separated her into two people. She told a tale of making choices that were outside sourcing, building a story of shame and blame toward her. When she became pregnant with a child she had no idea of the father, she became very sick and had to return home, where she began to find a self within her that was hidden. She bought a guitar to put her pain into words and music, and found the hidden part of her soul that kept her moving toward the light, and her higher conscious, the ABBA. She states that “the reconciliation with ABBA and self was a feeling of complete trust and acceptance. She felt like the prison door was opened and could breathe for the first time.” The music was a great outlet and a new beginning.

We all have had those times of light and dark, and if not I ask you to look deeply at how your are living a truth for you. In these times we can be torn from our truest beliefs and plunged into darkness that does not agree with our soul. Becoming disconnected working on bringing those two pieces together can be arduous, because we have to face those things that become our shame.

Shame,  that place where life seems to envelope from our decisions. We either learn from it or stay there, and it becomes our story. I have been there so many times, and know the drama that unfolds in my head to keep me there. Does this become my complete truth?

For Jana, it was a destiny of becoming something she was not, struggling with split beliefs wanting nothing more to find that soul, the missing piece. If she had never been blessed with her beautiful daughter,  she may have continued down the self destructive road. Yet ABBA, the higher consciousness, played its card to deliver her a child to care for, so that she could learn to care for herself. Care and love,  became a place where she became reconciled with knowledge that she had the capacity to not only love someone, yet also love herself.

Learning that the game of shame was not the final note in which she would live her life.

This brought her to a place of focus on her, and her child, she began to delve back in to her faith, bonding with music her mother and child. For one full year she resigned herself to focus on healing those wounds and staying out of relationship for the sake of reconciliation. Ten months into the yearlong purposeful journey, she met her soon to be husband Craig. Who was working with a Celtic punk band and on his course to a new way of making music also. Coming together they became what is now ‘The Holland’s” Marymaking Nomads.  Through the building of their music relationship and marriage, they had began to raise Jana’s daughter Graciana and had a son together Banjo.

Reconciliation continued in the journey as became another part of the story, from the beginning they put out music from a mix of background, punk band for Craig and Jana’s song making from a child with her grandmother singing old hymns in nursing homes.  Melding the two forms was a process, sometimes it became a seprate task each working their own form of music. Working together takes a determination , It is also takes communication. Words not spoken or shared become a place of separation. When things became frustrating they became separated.  Jana began to take it personal that they were not connecting in the music as much as she thought was possible. Lack of communication can bring a rift between any two people, as the nonexistent words open up so many places in our head to go to, building stories.

Married in 2000 the music was separate in its form, as they continued down the road of trying to meld the two, they had strife; however in that strife, they had to learn more about the areas that had to grow between them. The ability to work on the pain, the hurt emotions took perseverance with dedication to each other.  This brought them to a place where the music started working together, reconciling with grace as they became more cohesive in love and music.

To reconcile anything it takes understanding from the perspective from others and self. As we build stories in our head that come from past events or past behaviors built within us. We also build stories from past experiences that create a blame and shame. The truest form of dedication is to look into those places, facing the darkness of past together. This is what these two people had to face, past behaviors, darkness, shame and blame. Coming together to make music that resonates reconciliation.

It has taken me two weeks to really get a focal on this exact story; actually it took more than that, as I had to unwind the stories that happened for me on this trip. I started out with the intention of finding people who were making a difference in the world, wondering how I personally could make a difference in this world. I cannot change anything, until I reconcile with myself. The road trip brought me to my parents who were worried and scared for me vs.  supporting me. I had to look close and understand that they come from a background of fear. With that I also had to see their shame and blame, as I reconciled with the idea that I grew up wearing a coat that did not fit me. The coat was their beliefs and I gave it back to them. I love them and have worked on reconciling that relationship since I left my home at 14. I now realize it’s theirs to do now. This allows me to grow into my own coat of belief and power to change.

On the road, I also ran into myself, face to face with all my fears, with all my shame and blame. Looking deeply at my torn soul, I am now only me to take responsibility for. This seems easy for some, yet I have spent most of my life living for others. It is now me and two companion dogs who have helped keep me grounded.

I look at Jana and her story as a great example of how the world becomes torn apart, to show me how I was separated. I personally have been torn from self, into many dark places, with shame and blame my favorite partners in crime. Now that I get to work on that new self, that reconciliation can bring me into a greater healing place. I am in great gratitude that I took a leap of faith and a road journey that brought me to Jana and her wonderful family.

I am thankful for Kat being at the end of the pool waiting to introduce us, at the hot springs in Bozeman. It allowed me to hear Jana’s words to look softly at my mother, seeing her in her full beauty. I am in honoring of those who are ready to stop the shame and blame of others and self, looking deeply at the roots of how they can heal.

I invite you to visit The Holland’s website, The Holland’s. Hear their music of Reconciliation, enjoy the sounds of real healing and intention.

I also invite you to the day I turn 50 where I am asking all to become reconciled with those who have crossed you, hurt you as they are your biggest teachers. It is time we look inward at how we keep ourselves from growing. On October 3rd I turn 50 and my birthday request is to find a place in your heart to let go of all past and move forward with a loving heart. Turning 50

I invite you to look deeply at how you can reconcile with you.

Thank you for joining me on this journey.


Taking the Road Less Traveled

Taking the Road Less Traveled

 A road less traveled has made all the difference, while I walk a very fine line of what is normal and what is a world of wonder, I know that there is possibility.   Traveling a road that I  did not know who I would or if I would encounter while on it , became and opening of that wonder. What I did find is many people looking for answers to find resolution, many people just living and supporting each other, raising the hopes for all.

In my last blog “Looking at the connections”  I ended in Lolo hot springs, where if I would have looked the other way I would not have gain perspective on the strife of so many. There were people who are coming out from under the blanket of drugs and alcohol, pulling themselves  from the destructive forces of addictive substances.  Their struggle only showed me that I had an opportunity, and to keep moving on the path that I have been on, the one less traveled, the one that will elicit change. Creating a positive place for future generations to enjoy life fully.

As I continued on the road from Lolo, my trajectory was to meet a women, I met in Lolo. She was a firefighter and was moving on from the fires of Lolo to go home for a bit, and she invited me to visit her at the reservation she lived on. However; I found out long into my journey she was not as close and my travels would have taken me further out than I was prepared for. However I will visit her soon, and know that story will continue.

It did steer me toward Bozeman Hot Springs, where I thought maybe  there might be people looking to connect, yet it was quiet and very solitary in the camping area.  I did meet an older gentleman who was hoping to help a young girl find her calling and stay off of Methamphetamine.  He shared his and her story, that he was able to assist her to begin to see the light, she began to write, and now she is drug free and attending college to pursue her writing career . He had his share of a story, and took his perspective on political insights and liked to write about it also.  Looking at the man you would see his sorrows for what was happening in the world, and how it is so hard to get people on board to change the paradigm. He stated “He felt the hands of people are tied and there is no way they believe they can change it.” I tend to agree, yet I will add that people have to choose to change, and can, by untying the beliefs and be brave enough to step up.  I feel it’s about being the example, helping one starfish find her calling, assisting those who are ready, and staying open to all people who come into our lives.


After the wonderful conversation with this amazing  man I decided to soak in the hot springs as my body was ready after days of driving and  lifting camping supplies in and out of the car. I wish I had trained Nala better to help, yet she lacks opposable thumbs.  So off I went, leaving Nala at the camp to watch over it. I found the hot springs was more hopping and resort like, with a fitness center, large swimming pool and smoothie amenities.

As I entered the space, there were a lot of people, kids, teenagers, and older people we soaking through out the large pools. It was almost too much, yet I needed the warm water.  I spied a women sitting by herself at the end of the pool where it seemed quiet. I came over and began to conversation about the Chaos on the other side. The next thing I know I had met a siStar, she was a health coach/personal trainer, she had lived in Wisconsin and she loved all the same movies as I do. We then began to talk about my journey and how I am looking for people who are interested in changing the world. She stated that I needed to meet the band, friends of hers, that were working on Reconciliation tour.  I was so intrigued we set up a time to meet in the am and awaited to meet them.

The next morning I was not prepared for the story I got from the singer Jana. It was an amazing journey, and so full of growth from all levels. I honor her and her ability to dig into the depths of truth. Even though at times judgment could take its hammer down upon her, she was steady on her path.  Her husband, daughter and son are amazing attributes to change.  I will dive into the complete story in my next blog. The story deserves the attention of entirety and I believe the message is big enough that it calls out to everyone. Please take the time and look for it.

As I left the presents of the new sweet friends I had made, Jana and Kat, I felt renewed and ready explore my next adventure, where I was invited to play on the Snake River with some very old friends, aka other family. It was an amazing drive through Yellowstone, I did see a few animals, but most of all it was about alone time in the car, with Nala, as we had to wait in Labor Day traffic and accidents, we got to see people reacting, waiting and becoming impatient. So much perspective on what is important. We sat in the cool air and collected our thoughts on what will the next adventure would bring.

We arrived late at the Snake; and were welcomed by a huge family. My other family, who are interactive in my life at least once a week. They check in and let me know that they are interested in my travels and life. They also allow me to be a part of their world, and ask me just to be myself. They also show how much they believe in me. This is their higher work, standing by someone, believing in them, working for higher conscious thinking. They are positive rays of light, in a world of chaotic times, and I honor that in them.

We spent the next couple of days rafting the Snake River, where at one point I was asked if I wanted to jump off a cliff (into the river).  Bucket list item! Sure enough,  it was insisted, when the person rowing the boat,  who has supported me in many of my life learning journeys,  backed the boat up river so I could jump.  The act of  backing the boat up was a example of how much belief and how I was supported in “you can do this. ” This is such a great gift.  It filled my heart with  joy, and allowed me to feel that anything is possible when you have the support of people you love and they allow you to be you, so I jumped. I was exhilarating , and a check  off that bucket list.   I am lucky to be a part of these peoples lives as they are very supportive of the journey of hope.

Sometimes that is all a person needs is to believe they can jump and be safe, to know that someone has your back. Strangers, acquaintances and even family, all have a story, they all have some ability to be supported, if someone is there, all it takes is just to give them hope on their journey.  If we all took the time and supported others who are struggling, yet ready to change, we can elicit change  in them and ourselves. All those people needed at Lolo were just ray of hope that they could shift their paradigm, and when they got that they jumped.

I hope that everyone can see that this was not just my journey, that their journey, and it is well worth taking, even if the road is less traveled.

How do you impact the world?

How can you?

How do you lift a soul up?

I want to hear about the strides you are taking, I think the world should hear more about what is right. Please take the time and share here or on my facebook page,

Lets share with the world your stories of hope, lets see if people can look at the other side.

Julia Rae

Looking at the connections

Looking at the connections

As the travels wind down so do Nala and I, they have been fun, exciting, beautiful and amazing. As we explored the last two weeks, we found ourselves in the company of amazing people, and the most intriguing stories.  I was so blessed to be in the presents of so many working to heal the planet and I hope that in the days to come I can share each persons story as passionate as they were about their journey.  Taking the time and just sharing my interpretation is first on the list of stories to share.

The first stop we took was in Midway, where I was able to pick up my first personal musical instrument a Native American Flute.  Russ Jones was an amazing teacher, who taught me the basics, as I knew I would have time to practice during my down times on the road.  He showed me how to play, blow and get in touch with my breath.  It allowed the next couple of weeks to ground me when it was time to look inward.

I spent the night in Midway, then hit the road down the mirror lake Hwy, stopped at the top for an amazing hike at Bald Mountain and a dive into a cool mountain Lake. Refreshing, beautiful, Nala and I loved to ability to enjoy such landscape.  I hope that it stays as pristine and clear as humans become more and more encroaching on the forest and deserts of the planet.

We then set out toward Bear Lake, not knowing where we were going to stay or who we would meet, we ended up at a campsite on top of Logan canyon, where we met no one, and it was quiet, and rainy. So we huddled into our tent and listened to the amazing thunder and watched the lightning, open up in the sky.  We both jumped with each crack, honoring the awesome energy and power of the earth.

The next day was meet up with my parents, Mom and Step Dad, who came in from Arkansas for SD high school reunion. I was more interested in seeing my Mother, as she is aging and each day with her has been so precious, as I have had so few. I got to visit with both, for a brief minute in Logan at Café Ibis (love that place), where they were both very worried about my adventure and my career trajectory. I let them know that I feel very empowered to keep on my path and wished them well on their travels.

So off we went to the little town of Richmond, Utah where if you’re not looking you will miss the amazing people who live there. I am lucky to know a childhood friend and a year old friend all who know how to have fun.  It is not an easy life, everybody works hard, yet on the off days it’s about finding the joy in what they have. Nala and I got to swing on an old swing set, which brought me back to the days with my little sister, who I got to teach how to swing, slide and enjoy the little things in life. I almost forgot and I am so grateful for that time then and now. It is never too late to play and enjoy what life has to offer. I also saw an amazing Halloween yard decorations in the works, as they are setting up for quite a show. It’s all about what you enjoy doing in life, bringing joy to others or even a few scares.

Two days of swinging, I left for my favorite place to heal my body and my soul. Our last winter stomping ground at a Hot Springs in Idaho, where I showed up a year earlier to celebrate my graduation, for a camping trip with my two dogs. Three months later I was working there. That was an amazing time, heavy snow and elements, kept my mind busy and my soul healing. It is even more amazing now,  I get to come back to see my brothers from other mothers; that I bonded with then and get to again.  Maple Grove Hot springs is moving in the direction of self sustainability, and it will create the blue print for how we as humans can be better stewards. I look forward to sharing that story as the events and wellness center will be growing there.

As I was there I met the next interview, which if you saw my last blog post was about building earthships for Homeless Veterans, with Mitchell Ballard and Foxhole homes. If it were not for the man’s passion we may have never met, I am so lucky and I look forward to all his journeys as he grows the drive, to save the planet.

Leaving Soda springs Idaho I let the road lead me in the direction of Challis Idaho, where I was able to take in the views, and an amazing Ghost Town. Such history there, and even old time earthships, which is the featured picture.. It is an old idea, and it has been engineered so that we can sustain a lot longer with less hard ships; like the hermits that lived in these homes.



I am going to give a shout out to the Holiday Lodge Motel in Challis.  I looked at all three motels in town and this was the cleanest and the most updated.  I also can say that these people took great pride in the place, and was working well with its antiquity of the structure, electrical, to make it a nice pleasant place to stay.  I know I will be staying there again.

After two days of rest and visiting there, I moved up the 93 toward Missoula Montana, where I was not sure where I was going. I stopped at a few places and finally rested at Lolo hot springs a quaint little place that had an edge to it. With the smoke filled air I came across two fire fighters who were clearing out, saying they had finished what they could do in the area and we moving home.  The community was very happy to support these fighters of fire, thanking them in any way possible.

I also met a small community of people who were just moving through; they had their share of troubles and were just looking for a break. I wonder how many people in the world are just looking for a better time and place to live. They all have some story that leads them down the road they went, and now are looking for a way to lift them up. I could only offer a smile, prayer and hope that they could rise above, sharing the knowledge they are worthy of a wonderful life.

I am going to end this blog midway of the trip and at this story, I feel that the journey deserves so many words and your attention to it may be waning; however, I do want to end it with a few questions.

How do you see people that you encounter in your life?

Do you see them?

Do you see them for their full potential, or do you have a story about them?

Is there any connection, or do you walk past them hoping to not feel what they are going through?

The reason I set out on this journey was to find connection, find people who were engaging the world.  Setting out to change, some of these people were working on the big picture, while others it was a more personal change.  Whether you are working on a big project or, holding power journeys, or just working to be better, you are eliciting change.

How are you helping the world be a better place, how are you healing you?

I will add to my next blog a few more snippets of the next few days  winding  down the trip and then dive into the most amazing interview,  about  a wonderful traveling family band, and the singer and the story she shared Jana, “The Holland’s” Theirs is story is worth the read and the music is worth a daily listen.

The Holland’s on their tour bus


Peace, Love and Hot Fudge Sunday’s

Julia Rae



I wasn’t looking at where I was going and look where I end up.

Sometimes you just have to let things come to you, when they do, don’t be afraid to say yes. This Journey is an amazing example of just saying yes and having no preconceived notions. Once I decided to really set out and jump head first into a pool of water that seemed shallow and dangerous, I began to feel the effects of going with the flow.


Sustainable living was the subject matter for the travel days, as there are many people looking to find a way to create, recreate, reuse and renew old products and ideas. They are using many venues and alternatives to the prescribed sources like the hardware store or building supply store, to build and create sustainable life.

Leave NO! footprint, was on the subject of everyone’s conversation.


We have all heard of them, do we truly understand what they can mean to the planet and to the many homeless people, Native Americans living on land that is uninhabitable. Foxhole homes and Mitchell Zeno Ballard, are making a difference in the community of Alamogordo NM, where they have started a community for Homeless Veterans, building with re-purposing diverse excess / surplus property, and turning it into earthships. They are self sustaining, temperate climate, homes that keep a constant temperature, using solar and wind energy.  They harvest their own water, use and reuse all household sewage, by utilizing an in indoor and outdoor treatment cells resulting in food production and landscaping with no pollution of aquifers.  Earthships have a wetlands, planters hold hundreds of gallons of water from sinks and the shower area, using plants that cleans the water and is reused in the flushing of toilets. Earthships assist in growing food in greenhouses, which can be harvested year around.

If all this sounds fantastic, it is and this maybe the answer to housing issues, water problems and pollution issues. The earth is hitting a critical mass on the consumption of raw materials, and humans are becoming more and more in need of supporting the planet and themselves. Earthships contain life, reuse and recycle all in a small space.

So land is now the only issue.

I met Mitchell at a small hot springs in Idaho, where his enthusiasm for his project, was enough to get his number and look to meet with him when I was leaving the area. On the way out I was returning phone calls a catching up on business stuff, and turned the opposite direction from Mitchell’s place where he is building a moveable sustainable earthship. As I called him to see if I could find a better time, his passion and commitment was a catalyst for me to turn around and drive an hour back to meet and see his project. I am glad I did his commitment to helping the earth extends to changing building codes to allow earthships to be built so they meet expectations of earthly living, at a lower cost, and create a dynamic place for veterans to live. Using a grassroots movement, being the example, he purchased 160 acres in Alamogordo NM, to build 50 structures and house 100 veterans. His passion is immense, his ability to move mountains, literally and figuratively will, I believe, change the way we live, breath and take care of this planet.

I am so grateful that there are people out there stepping up to create change, Mitchell is just one passionate example. I posse a question to you now, how can you start to make a difference in the world? One simple step, like recycling, or volunteering, can change the world for you and someone else.  There are many ways in which we all can start to change the patterns of our human existence.

Thank you Mitchell for being the example.

See Foxhole Homes Facebook for more information about how you can support them in building homes for Homeless Veterans.

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Wisdom from a Toltec Dreamer

Wisdom from a Toltec Dreamer

I am on the road looking to seek out people who are making a difference in the world and using their talents to assist others.  I am taking a big leap of faith that the right people will show up, I welcome you along for the journey.

There are so many people with so many stories, yet there are many with a special twist.  They quietly do their work hoping to bring light and/or bring the vibration up, in people they encounter daily. I have met so many, and this trip I hope to meet more.

Knowledge is Power!   Like the wisdom from grandparents, people in these times, have learned a lot. They have found themselves in circumstances, which have guided them into a world where they had to work on emotional issues at a deep level. They then learn and grow, and then become teachers.  What I have found so amazing is, that these people are deeply passionate about what they do, and they become part of a great time of change, hoping that even if it’s just one person, they can help heal this world.

To change the world is to change the vibration of the people of the world. Vibration is a frequency that is in everything, trees, plants and even rocks. Our body can resonate at varying different frequency. Some people resonate at a low frequency depending on the food they eat, the amount of stress in their life, the amount of sleep they get, and the amount of time spent outdoors. It can change depending on where you spend your thoughts and how grounded you are to the earth.   Frequency can be disrupted by a higher vibrating energy or a lower vibrating energy.  Vibrating low or high is not worse or better, it just is. I call a low vibration a mild hum, where thoughts are slow, and actions are reactive. High vibrations are like fast hum like a hummingbirds wings, moving quickly and thinking clearly or understand things at quicker pace.

Music is one way of bringing up vibration. Have you ever heard a song that just brought you to place of sadness, or a song that made you laugh and want to sing along?  That is one example in how vibration can work with music. In so many ways music brings us to place in our body and thoughts.  That is how musicians make a difference; the ways they practice is important to the vibration of the music. By sharing with you, they bring to you to a specific vibration.

My first interview, I got called into after I attended a night of great connection.  I met Russ Jones, a humbling soul, with unique character,  we connected through facebook and then again this night.  I had brought my flute from Peru, which I have fought with,  could not play, and approached him with my issue.  That conversation led me to see that he had a great story about life.

Russ Jones is a master flutist, playing songs for people, live on facebook and sharing the gift of his talent. Native American flutes are his specialty; they have a specific sound all on their own.  I learned this; since purchasing one from Russ; that it takes practice of breath.  I am so grateful, that this lesson has been come to me, as it becomes one more piece of self understanding on how I breathe. What a great gift he shares, with everyone he meets.  If everyone learns to breath, or slows down to hear a great song on a flute, we all can vibrate at a higher frequency.  As the sound itself has its own resonance so does the person who plays it, like any instrument.

Russ started his journey through looking to learn to play the drums about 7 years ago. He went to the music store and was not interested in the loudness of the background music, yet was called to the flutes and he has been playing ever since.  He shares his music on his facebook page because he feels that the soul of the flute allows people to become more in tune with self, and brings the vibration of people to a higher frequency.

One more of the gifts that Russ shared with me , is something he came upon  when he journeyed into Mexico, where he learned the teachings of the Toltecs and ancient civilization. Russ is a Toltec Dreamer  and shares Teotihuacan a Walk with people, supporting them in discovering their true nature.  The teaching of the Toltecs has been brought to the world through Don Megal Ruiz, “The Four Agreements.” An Amazing book on self discovery from within. It impacts the inner self, and was one of the first gifts I ever received,  on how to connect with the deeper meaning of life. At the age of 35 the book was a beginning into my journey in healing my own hurt soul.  This book changed the way I see myself in every circumstance.

The four agreements is a great read and easy, it assist you in understand the bigger meaning of you. While it may seem spiritual, or religious, it has none of those overtones. If you even look at the simple teachings of each agreement you can see how it can affect your world in positive manner.  It’s touted as a personal guide to freedom.

The Four Agreements go as follows.

  1. To be impeccable with your word. (are you?)
  2. Don’t take anything personally> ( ya right?)
  3. Don’t make any assumptions (what do you think of me?)
  4. Always do your best ( I can only hope to!)

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These agreements are simple to learn; however to practice them in everyday is tough. Look at it try it, and then think about simplifying. The Toltec teachings that Russ shares is through Power Journey’s. They are non-medicinal gatherings where you find a deeper meaning of self.  He travels to Mexico and Peru taking people to teach them about Toltec’s and assisting them in dreaming a better life.Try a self empowering Journey to Mexico, learn with a humble teacher. It can be an inspiring journey to understand your higher meaning. Russ welcomes anyone who is ready to delve into self discovery, added bonus he plays a wonderful flute.  Click the link below to see how you can take that journey.

Toltec Dream walk

Russ sees himself as the ultimate dreamer, as he is one of those people who look to find meaning in this life, he adds in his own touch of magic, by assisting others to become better for themselves. I would agree that he is an amazing dreamer, bringing light to a world of chaos. I appreciated the little time I had with him, his soul has learned a lot, so that he may now teach.

Look at the Toltec teachings, listen to the music of Native people and I hope you can find some peace in this world through the journey.

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Facebook feeds the Ego in me that wants to be seen.

Facebook feeds the Ego in me that wants to be seen.

I began using facebook back when it was all new, and I have used it in many ways. It kept me connected to  family and friends across the world. It also gave me a place to vent needed emotions, and arguments. Then it became a platform to inform and educate, raise the vibration and thinking.

I also noticed a trend in my thinking and a trend in the way people reacted to certain posts. If I had an inspiring post, I got a lot of likes and if it was some meandering thought, it was never even looked at.

Now this could be trends in how it shows up on the feed or it could be the time of day. There are many reasons why the reactions were that way. I just know I was seeing something also inside me with social media, which made me start to think about how it is changing how we do things, and how much we stay in this moment. How it feeds us and how we want to be fed life.

In the interim of being of facebook I have met many people, online and in person. I became friends with many outside of the facebook world, then stayed connected through it. I have freinds I have never met in person and others who after I disagreed with them, they de-friended me.  I became friends with old high school crushes, some became new ones. It all became my social world, as I finished my degree.

I wonder how is this world of facebook keeps us connected to each other, or does it just fulfill a need to be seen. I questioned how we identify with ourselves and what it does to our ego, and how all of this fed into the “I” how “I” interpret the world.

I thought about all those who can’t leave their homes and sit fulfill their life through others.  How the “ I “ and other people see self, and compare their lives, as they see what others are portraying.  How sad people can become, because they don’t have the life of others, and how it creates and/or furthers depression.

I wondered about the thoughts we have about what others are doing, vs. where we are at. The thoughts of comparing lifestyles, and fashion, adventures and looks, all become a part of an identity, the “I”.

Then there is the drama of de-friending, and the value of those friendships, if statements go against beliefs, or even to have a different opinion that negates others. Its easy inconspicuous and no one gets to dialog about the differences. It makes it easy to ghost off and never say a word.

As I have watched and participated in the inter-working of facebook and how it creates paradigms, which entwine with our own personal life experiences.  I see how we all are attached to the idea that we can portray our outside world in a way that we want others to see it as, and compare to what our world really looks like. I watched as people went through their morning process of animals, families, friends and even communities.  I saw how quickly people were ready to step in with kind words, wisdom and even support.

It is in itself a community of diverse family.

I also watched the ego step in, my ego, others and the reactions to it. Some were very supportive others as they fulfilled their needs of accomplishment were met, in statements to me, to others or in the post itself. This all brought my attention back to me, the “I” and how I became attached to ideas on how people saw me and became very intrigued by their reactions. When I posted my drama, it became an experience in support and unusual responses; because I am never really clear on the whole story in my posts. I became very aware of my ego, how it was enhanced by the facebook experience.

I saw how I could call in the sentiment, anger, even the chatter or laughter if needed.  I could call in love, when I am lonely, sad or just need a lift. Facebook is a community in which we can be uplifted, filled by ego or even just connect.

I took myself off facebook, just by not responding, posting or looking at it for a week.  As I did this I realized that I was looking for things in my world, for facebook purposes only.  When I found that I was restricting myself to sharing I became more aware of what I wanted to look at vs. what I wanted to share. Selfies became a non-existent thing, where I didn’t need a photo of myself.  Instead; I got to experience what I look at in the world vs. what I look like in the world.

The ego is a funny thing, facebook is also. Are they both intertwined with excerpts of what the “I” wants to be? Sending out messages for all to connect, react, establish, and or become seen. I wonder what your thoughts are, how you feel facebook and this social media world has changed you. How it allowed  you to grow or how you were able to shadow the real you.

Can you take a week off and see what or where it feeds you?

Eckhart Tolle did this youtube video about facebook and how it affects us, it questions how we define ourselves according to facebook.  It shows how we can be without facebook.

I will continue to connect with facebook and I will always consider my ego as I do. I will also look at the images and the portrayal of them, hoping to see the truth and reality of each post. I will work to be as far from ego the “I” and as close to bringing up the vibration of the self. In my posts I hope you see the real me as I take the layers off and portray the real me.

Please feel free to contribute to the discussion as it is important for us all to understand this crazy world and how we work together in it.



Why is the World in such a hurry?

Why is the World in such a hurry?

Is there something I just don’t get? 

I wonder why we are all going so fast that we don’t take the time and slow down, and look around, see what is going on in the world, into the people’s worlds that we encounter. When you go to check out at the local grocery, do you look at the person behind the counter, look in there eyes? Do you see if they are having a good day or a bad day? When they say “Hi how are you today,” is your reply the standard, “I am fine how are you.”  Then the check out begins. What about when you go out to dinner, hostess seats you, do you exchange eye contact or the usual and go about your dinner. Yet these are everyday people serving you. They have a story, they have a life, they are there getting paid to service you, yet there is no connection. There actually is a lot of disconnection.

Is that what the world needs right now?

This blog came about due, to a day of enjoying a beautiful valley in Northern Utah on my road bike. Where the views are amazing and so wonderful to share with any companion; which is what I was doing. When I encountered, fast paced got to get somewhere traffic, yet they used more energy to honk a horn, than to apply pressure on the break, and even just move the steering wheel toward the left and safely veer around us. (no oncoming traffic) Just a simple honk and a near brush with a side view mirror.

As if I was in their way, not seeing that I could enjoy my bike ride.

So many times I hear people say, “road biking is so dangerous, I wouldn’t do that. “   I wonder if its courtesy, or lack of knowledge, and or even the idea that one person owns the whole road, that create these ideas, stopping people from enjoying this beautiful world.

I also encountered big truck on small hwy, which they could slow down and give a rider a bit of room, instead a biker can get caught in their air wake and it almost pushes you off the road.  Ya I guess this is why road biking is dangerous, but does it really have to be?

Why is it so hard to put on the breaks, slow down and look someone in the eye, and know they are experiencing this life with you, on the road, in the market, or even out to eat?

It takes that one moment to slow down, get out of  your world and see that we are all human on this planet living a human experience at our own level.

It also creates a place for courtesy, when we acknowledge that the person on the bike is enjoying themselves,  to to think of giving them a safe place to do it, and I can slow down.  What is really great is usually the biker will extend a wave thanking you, instead of the all too familiar “bird” ( which yes I did use). What a great moment of courtesy.

I also think of the everyday people dealing with a life circumstance, where it’s just devouring their every move.  Some people are afraid to make a change, or those that have no Idea how to get out of it. They may work at the local market, or they may even be driving a vehicle and very late for work and one more obstacle is becomes that extra hurdle.

Do you think slowing down, will help.

Do you think stopping and looking around at the people will allow  person lost in their own world to step out and see possibility?

Where are you in your life, happy, so happy you don’t see the people around you, or if you do, seeing others enjoying themselves at the expense of you being late, is just an irritant?

How do you connect with everyday people, how do you not? How can you get out of your shell and see the bigger picture?  Why is it so hard to stop and see the people across from you at dinner or the attendant at the gas station?

Making the world a better place is about looking around, seeing where you have it good, gratitude goes a long way.  Gratitude in slowing down, for a bike, to see a face, to have a conversation with others that are not in our immediate world we are able to connect,  find joy and be a better human to ourselves first of all and those that serve our world.

Oh ya and I could have been kinder and just let the lady who almost hit me with her mirror pass with her, ego in check. I dunno, but I did want to connect with her and just ask her to please read the rules of the road before driving again. I think the bird was just to get her to slow down. It would have been nice to have dialog, however in this world the bird is recognized as the international sign for………

Lesson learned for me.

I just ask that you take the time and build up instead of flipping the bird.